guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
