): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
