Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he thought i was a dude.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
