Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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