i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
