I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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