just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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