Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize