I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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