if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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