bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize