I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
