They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
