I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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