I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
