And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Also, beer. Big fan.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Randomize
