New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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