Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
