We should be called the Road Head Warriors
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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