He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
