I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i drank out of a bidet.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
