Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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