guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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