well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
