Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
