As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well you can't waste a boner
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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