well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
