you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
