Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
