who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
