you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
