Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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