I swear she didn't look like that last week.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize