It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
