Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
