im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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