i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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