I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I want to have your abortion
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
