i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
NoShamevember. You game?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
