I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
