it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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