Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
