boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
