i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
