you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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