Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
