I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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