He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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