Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
