Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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