you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
