I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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