I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize