He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
