My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
