I can't watch pbs sober anymore
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
